I have to say, this entire week has been overwhelming in both good and bad ways. I reconnected and met some amazing people who have a similar vision of the world than I do – you know, those people you can talk with for HOURS. I had strange confrontational conversations that ended decently, but in my head, ended quite bitterly. I was even surprised by the lack of connectivity with a really good friend of mine. I left the conversation feeling confused about our friendship. Is it dying? Have our lifestyles grown so far apart that we cannot appreciate each other’s company?
I guarantee you she is probably thinking the same thing right now, something like “that didn’t feel right” and she’d be right, it felt…off. After all, life does happen at random and at times you just can’t take things personally because for all you know, that friend who’s seemingly doing well in life is maybe dealing with issues of his/her own. Who freakin’ knows?
I’d like to present this post as a reality check for myself and perhaps to whoever else is reading this.
My question to you is who are your real friends?
Think carefully. What makes a friend a “real” friend? How many friends do you consider to be “really close friends” with?
More than 10? Think again. Less than 10, even less than 5, you might be right.
I’d like to think I know who my real good friends are but sometimes I like to take a step back and reflect….
-That friend I was a listening ear to and a crying shoulder for, has he/she been there for me when I was facing a crisis?
-That non-judgemental approach I kept with friends dealing with harships, did I get the same approach back when I was the one knee deep in frustration/confusion?
-That initiation of conversation and hang-outs, am I the only one doing it?
-That awesome favor I did for a friend once, was it ever returned?
I say no matter how busy you are in life, if you give a damn about that said “close friend”, it doesn’t take much to fire a text. “Hey, how have you been?” is plenty enough! It takes 30 seconds or less to do so. Even better, pick up your phone and talk to your friend! You never know. A simple phone call might make someone’s day.
“Life’s in the way” is not a really good excuse when you actually consider that friend a “real friend”.
Alternatively though, you might actually NOT consider this person a real friend, which is absolutely and completely fair. Realistically, you cannot please everyone and have everyone please you back. And, people change – whether we want them to or not. People drift apart for awhile and sometimes reconnect later and that real connectivity is still there and sometimes people drift apart for good. People come and go and that will always be the nature of it.
Speaking of phone calls, a friend of mine called me earlier and yeah, it made my day, it really did. Phone calls are just amazing. I cherish them and favor them over a text any day. A phone call is much more personal and creates a sense of care and connectivity. He wanted to share with me news of his recent employment. I was stocked for him. In return, I told him about my new job and he was stocked for me too. We proceeded to chatter about life, how happiness can only be created within ourselves, and laughed about random shit. We both observed that we were moving forward in life and that things were looking up.
It was a great little conversation, an actual exchange, not an “up-the-other” pointless chatter. It was genuine.
That friend was there and has seen me at my worst. He gives me perspective, even when I don’t want to hear it and has been able to forgive instead of stubbornly judge the situation.
I’d say that’s a pretty good damn friend right there.
– Claire Miglionico