You know what my problem is? I have all these ideas and thoughts in my head that I never take the time to write down. Even this blog for example. I wanted to make it super sophisticated and “profesh” but that polished look is not me. I like writing whatever is on my mind, unedited and uncensored. And unfortunately, I have had major writing block with this blog because I’m trying to make it into something that isn’t me. The blog is so not me that I never post, too scared to share my unedited thoughts. I wanted to make this blog “fit” in, but it won’t because that’s not what makes me happy. Don’t get me wrong, I still want to post a couple portfolio work here but this blog ain’t gonna be what it ain’t.
You know, lately I’ve been extremely happy in my life. There’s been a few disappointments and slip ups, but for some reason, my heart has kept open. Here comes the cliches but I’m bringing them up because I mean them: I love my friends, my family and my job. Two weeks ago, I flew out on a business class fare to Tokyo. Two days ago, I got a phone call for an internal interview with the company I am currently with. Even If I don’t get the job, I am eternally grateful for the interview.
Life couldn’t be better and more uncertain yet certain….I may not make sense but it makes sense to me. Despite having found some security in my life, I am still in the complete unknown and I absolutely love it. I live day to day and every time I live the present fully, I feel unstoppable, relaxed, confident. I love that I’m able to let go of bitterness and still be open for love, whatever love shapes up to be that day: a cute puppy, a warm smile, a good conversation with a friend, a simple txt, an awesome brunch….I think people often attach love to a specific person in their life (or that non-existent person they are waiting for to be happy in life) but that`s not what love is about.
When you can entirely be happy with yourself and by yourself is the ultimate win in life.
I know I’m a perfectionist at heart but that shit kills creativity, it really does. It killed mine and that writing block was killing me. More than anything in life, I like writing.
I’m holding back in fear of messing up but who says what is wrong and what is right? I can do what I want and I need to stop putting pressure on myself.
On my way out of work today, I saw a sign that read something along the lines of the real leaders of tomorrow re-write the rules.
I don’t like set rules. I like the idea of re-writing the rules.
Sounds a little Steve Jobbish, doesn’t it? I don’t plan on taking over the biz world anytime soon. Taking charge of my writing though, yes, I like the sounds of that!