Sometimes I feel like things have stayed the same, that I am not moving forward in life. But in reality, there has been tremendous progress. Even through hard times do we progress towards what we want, our purpose in this overwhelming flash of a moment, our short life on earth. I am 25 years-old and it feels like the 90’s were yesterday. How can it possibly be that the year 1998 was 16 years ago already? I’ve been watching old 90’s teen dramas lately and it’s like watching something so out-of-date on every level possible. Homosexuality was still super controversial, friends and lovers called each other on their home telephones (no cellphones!) to make plans to hang out, guys and girls danced TOGETHER at school dances, clothes were simpler, main characters came in all sizes and shapes…life seemed simpler, less based on the superficial nature of our society now. People MADE plans and stuck to them, people were interacting – no technology to distract from enjoying the moment. No online dating, no social media, no need to feel disconnected as we were all more connected. Love was very complicated and that hasn’t changed, but that’s beside the point….the point is, look how different society has become! For the better, or for the worst someone might argue! (I may be one of those arguers!!) Things just change constantly. Ideas and minds change constantly. I know I change constantly, usually for the better, even through moments of darkness.
I keep on not wanting to say that this summer has been a disaster, but I’m also trying to be honest with myself: it hasn’t felt amazing. I have felt super lonely, feeling like hey, where the f are my friends? Definitely too busy to make summer plans with me! and super depressed about my new work environment. However, I’ve managed to come up with a list of things I’ve done, however big or small they may seem of things I have accomplished. It may have been a lonely summer but the solitude was refreshing. It WAS what I needed. I see much clearer now. I was able to focus on myself, de-clutter my room (in working progress still) to make room for the new, for the next step. Let’s just say things have been happening and I haven’t been able to see that until today.
LIST! (cuz I love lists)
-went to LA
-threw a BBQ
-joined a women’s group
-met new people at work and outside of work
-made a vision board
-finished a book, something I haven’t done in YEARS
-made candle holders out of Mason Jars
-made an entire batch of mac&cheese
-made two banana breads
-had acupuncture (and my new acupuncturist is super chill!)
-had a Hawaiian massage (ahyeh)
-smudged my room (sage-burning)
-went through my books and put a few in the donation pile
-went through my entire collection of CDS (and I have a TON) and downloaded all of them to my iPod (yes, I still have an iPod. See what I mean, I can’t keep up with new technology!) It took endless days…
-discovered/downloaded new music
-discovered new shows on Netflix (can THIS be an accomplishment? I think so)
-shot my first-time lapse!
-made a short film, something I thought I would never ever get done. Despite how amateur it may be, it will always remain very important to me. I went through with it and did not back down….cool, I did it. (Thx SheenaBear!!)
And you know what? Summer is technically not over just yet. I’m sure there’s amazing things in store. How about a steamy make -out sesh or something ;)