I never thought this day would come but it did. I love my yoga studio to pieces because it has brought me strength in so many ways for the past two years. However, now has come the time for me to let go and move on. I have officially outgrown the studio, or outgrown the desire to be at the studio. The studio has become a routine that doesn’t motivate me or challenge me enough. Auto-pay has killed that desire to learn and explore at my own pace. My body aches from forcing, not being, a far cry from my beginnings at the studio where I felt like every moment was pure bliss. I’m studio’ed out and although I am petrified at the idea of cancelling my membership, I’m going to go through with it. I want to explore other yoga venues, perhaps smaller ones, where community and communication IS important and not overlooked, where you feel welcomed and feel like you can be yourself. I wouldn’t say this wasn’t the case at the studio, but I think it outgrew itself too fast in so little time. It used to be more intimate. But now, with two rooms to practice in, numerous amounts of workshops, teacher training programs and 35-Day yoga challenges, it has become too much and too many people, at least for me. I used to take a couple classes a week at my gym and I remember thinking I wanted the ‘real yoga’ experience so I signed up at a studio. And now, funny enough, I miss the casual yoga environment, the small groups, the chit-chat with the teacher. It felt like community without taking itself too seriously.
It’s not going to be easy to let go because the studio was my security blanket for the past two years of my life. I went to the studio when I felt a meltdown coming on, when I felt exhausted after a long day at work, before work to prepare myself for long airport shifts, when my heart was confused or broken, when I was sad, when I was happy and inspired. Yoga truly calmed my mind and it will continue to inspire me but I’m afraid it will be outside the studio for a little while. I’ve taken note of a couple community classes I’d like to try out, see if I like it. Perhaps it will give me room to try other activities I’ve always wanted to try out too! Everything is possible at this point so why confine myself to the walls of one studio? There`s so much out there to explore!
There`s a teacher at my studio that truly struck me. He taught Sunday night Yang/Yin classes and they were truly remarkable. His teaching truly inspired me. I will never forget the calm and serenity that overcame my body during his classes. He would always tell us to close our eyes, to look inwards, not to worry about others in the class or how we felt we looked to others. He told us to take our time, there was no rush, to just be and enjoy the movement, the present moment and savour each and every breath. I remember walking to my car one Sunday night at a pace I had forgotten about: a slow gliding, heaven-like pace which put a huge smile on my face all the way home, thinking about the good things in life and how amazing I felt right this moment. Now, that`s the magic of yoga I will always remember.