“I hope that one day you will see that this life is beautiful. And that instead of questioning every little thing, to just let  things be how they are.  I tried saving my dad – he will take his gloom to the grave. I tried *saving* my ex-boyfriends – they thought they weren’t deserving of my love, because they were incapable of loving themselves. I want people to see how great living is and how LUCKY we are.   
It’s more difficult lately because I’m the one in the dark and the only person who can lighten me up is MYSELF, no one else. I need to learn to let go to stop from being dragged. 

**a few parts were edited**

I was inspired by this msg I sent to a friend because it’s a msg addressed to him that became a msg for me also. It has double meaning, even triple. Nothing is directed at only one person, which was not my original intention. This is the perfect example of a situation where we feed ourselves our own advice without our knowledge of it at first.  This is the perfect reminder to love unconditionally, that hate is a waste of time and energy, to live fully and let go and enjoy the beauty of this life we often take for granted. But most pressingly, this is a great wake-up call to all the *rescuers* out there – you know who you are. No matter how hard you try to save somebody, nothing will change unless they want to make that change. The person worth focusing on is YOU and only YOU because YOU can make the changes you want in your life, no one else. Believe me, I have never hit what felt like rock bottom multiple times as I have in the past few months. And I honestly did NOT think I could re-surface. Slowly, my perspective is changing to a more positive one.  I give and give and give so much until I run on EMPTY. I get emotionally abused because I LET myself get abused. As a child, I didn’t know any better and so I believed for the longest time that giving but not receiving was the REAL DEAL. 

Today, despite a few slip-ups triggered by this emotionally-charged time, I CHOOSE to remain OPEN and still give love. Hell, I send love and compassion to my worst enemies that I don’t even see as enemies! This is the kind of person that I am and I don’t think that will ever change because I don’t want a few sad and angry people to change my perspective on life. Life WILL fuck you over, many many times. Do you let it hit you with  a big rock or do you catch that big rock and ACCEPT life as it is?


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