You were a sharpened knife
Ready to carve
Short and quick
Coward to the bone
At devil’s reach
I became raw meat
Burst of cries and lies
An eel came to kiss me
I raided the closet
Never to return
I drove home once
Accidentally
I sat on a park bench
Transiently
Craving for your warmth
I circled the mirage
Like a hawk
The ocean
You once or never were?
Five years too late
Your love letters mean nothing, asshole
Too coward to ever love
Love yourself, will you?
Lost and delusional
I ended up among the steel birds
Where the sentimentalists
Made the ‘port home.
The ordinary became obsolete
The 9 to 5 non-existent
Broken dreams became distant
The world was ours
Whenever we wanted it to be
Minds emptied
We rejected the shattered glass
The fortune cookie that fed us lies
The monopoly that told us who to be
And good souls we were
All of us,
For a moment
For a short time
Perhaps a lifetime
And good souls suffer fast
The picture of your daughter
In your wallet
Your happy demeanour
But your empty heart
The very same daughter
You were banned to see forever
We never fucked, thankfully
I knew it’d be loveless anyway
I won’t forget our fight
In our small hotel room
Our bodies touching
In the miniature bed we shared
In Osaka.
Thought I’d see the chair flying
Only your temper came knocking
Your father had passed
I pushed your buttons
Travel made us richer
But we couldn’t stand each other
And you, friend,
The disturbed mind of a poet
You mumbled out death
I screamed out life
And we formed a bond
Incomprehensible to this day.
You make no sense
Ever
But I’ll still be there
At the Ship
With a pint of something
While you mix your usual beer-cola
What’s it taste like anyway?
And then at dusk,
Our demons met our angels
I listened to your soul speak
On lonely nights
with no travellers
Loud and belligerent you were
You lived fast
and you might die young
But it didn’t matter
Because you lived for today
And didn’t care what they’d say
She married another,
I don’t think you ever recovered
I’ll go for a drink , sure,
But what’s the point anyway?
Don’t I still remind you of her?
And you C,
You ran away from the isle
Death left you breathless
You tasted the west coast first
And ended up breathing the mountain air
You get me, I get you
We don’t need a translator
We communicate borderline telepathically
Don’t let another fool you, friend
You deserve the moon and you know it
One night on the road,
I blacked out
A freak accident
Shattered my skull
I drank at Jame’s Beach
Unknowingly
My mind became fuzzy
My emotions amplified
I screamed nonsense
The blow was more severe than it appeared to be
A manager tried to fire me
For the “invisible” injury
And I loathe him to this day
For causing me more pain
Than my body could handle
You disgust me.
They say,
Forgive those that are not sorry
Well, I’m not sorry
And I’m not forgiven
But nobody cares
The eel came to kiss me
That night again
When I met you
At a party
A curse you were and still are
Go away, leave me alone
I’m squinting real hard
To see the meaning in you
I don’t see it
I see your pale face
My body goes into shock
People believed your lies
The abuser hides well
Behind his innocent charm
Don’t believe it.
But you were all fooled
And I’m the “crazy” one, of course
And I fooled myself
The gut knew
But I didn’t listen
It wasn’t really a blow, my “friend” had said
It doesn’t count!
Every scream , every push,
every “I didn’t mean to” hit you there, every lie,
Every mind fucked
Twisted manipulation
It all counts, dammit!
I won’t forget your screams
When I had my concussion
You fucking animal
But no, you were “helping” me
And I should thank you
Take your shit and go
Ironically, the nice cop said
“Go home”
And you stayed and smoked weed all day
With our good for nothing roommate
I ended up cleaning the dirtied walls
Because you were too lazy.
Lucky me.
