Resiliency is the “capacity to recover quickly from difficulties”. “Toughness”.

When I think of what it is to be resilient I think of

-being emotionally anchored

-being gentle (self-love and self-compassion)

-getting back on your feet

-having faith that everything will be OK

-pushing forward through the murky days (courage)

-continuously letting go (forgiveness)

and endless gratefulness for the every day.

It wasn’t always this way…

My road to resiliency looked like sitting in a puddle of intense emotions, day in and day out. This would affect interactions I would have with people around me and the self-talk I would have with myself. I believed I could let it all stew until, one magical day, I would eventually be able to let it all go.

It was my usual course of action: sitting with grief for years, unable to let go of the hurt and misery.

As a hypersensitive person, I have come to realize that what’s been really working for me is not suppressing my emotions but gaining an understanding of them; recognizing the difference between my ego taking over and my higher self, what I imagined and what was real, and generally knowing when and how to put my demons to sleep (action vs inaction).

I’ve learned there’s a certain responsibility that comes with difficult emotions such as grief and that we have the choice to become an active participant in our grieving process.

Dr. Lucy Hone, a resiliency researcher, swears by the three following methods that we can implement in our day to day lives to become better equipped in the throws of adversity:

  1. Instead of thinking “Why this happened to me”, “why NOT me?” To realize that I am not more special than my neighbour or anybody else on Earth and that the world doesn’t owe me anything.
  2. Will the following action that I am about to take (eg: drinking excessively, pretending everything is OK when it’s not, looking at photos of your recently deceased child) hurt me or help me in my healing process?
  3. Everyday, listing three things I am grateful for . It is said that for every negative thought, it takes three good positive ones to rewire our brains for positivity.

Here is the link to Dr.Hone’s TED talk. It’s fantastic:

Wishing you all the best in your healing journeys!


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