Resiliency is the “capacity to recover quickly from difficulties”. “Toughness”.
When I think of what it is to be resilient I think of
-being emotionally anchored
-being gentle (self-love and self-compassion)
-getting back on your feet
-having faith that everything will be OK
-pushing forward through the murky days (courage)
-continuously letting go (forgiveness)
and endless gratefulness for the every day.
It wasn’t always this way…
My road to resiliency looked like sitting in a puddle of intense emotions, day in and day out. This would affect interactions I would have with people around me and the self-talk I would have with myself. I believed I could let it all stew until, one magical day, I would eventually be able to let it all go.
It was my usual course of action: sitting with grief for years, unable to let go of the hurt and misery.
As a hypersensitive person, I have come to realize that what’s been really working for me is not suppressing my emotions but gaining an understanding of them; recognizing the difference between my ego taking over and my higher self, what I imagined and what was real, and generally knowing when and how to put my demons to sleep (action vs inaction).
I’ve learned there’s a certain responsibility that comes with difficult emotions such as grief and that we have the choice to become an active participant in our grieving process.
Dr. Lucy Hone, a resiliency researcher, swears by the three following methods that we can implement in our day to day lives to become better equipped in the throws of adversity:
- Instead of thinking “Why this happened to me”, “why NOT me?” To realize that I am not more special than my neighbour or anybody else on Earth and that the world doesn’t owe me anything.
- Will the following action that I am about to take (eg: drinking excessively, pretending everything is OK when it’s not, looking at photos of your recently deceased child) hurt me or help me in my healing process?
- Everyday, listing three things I am grateful for . It is said that for every negative thought, it takes three good positive ones to rewire our brains for positivity.
Here is the link to Dr.Hone’s TED talk. It’s fantastic:
Wishing you all the best in your healing journeys!
