I have a hard time standing my ground, more than I realize. My throat chakra has been blocked for quite some time. I have lost my voice, or perhaps, never manifested it in its fullest expression.
Am I subconsciously wanting to please so much to the point of losing all my intellect when it comes to matters of my emotional and physical safety?
Do I care about my life? Am I oblivious to my surroundings?
Do I not believe I am deserving of the love that I deserve?
Do I not respect myself?
Am I a dormant doormat?
I feel like I am none of these and somehow, I still fall asleep at the wheel.
I become too trusting again and forget to be more alert.
And I truly believe the cycle will continue until I learn to fully devote my attention to my gut.
I am learning that my time is precious.
I am tired of wasting my time on people that bring me no joy, no exchange of the minds, no laughs.
The more I spend time with myself, the more I LIKE myself and the more I want to say “hasta la vista, y’all!” and hang out with my fun and inspiring self instead.
I am amazed at the things I can accomplish with a few books, a notebook, a yoga mat and a good imagination (could sound dirty but that’s not my point).
I don’t know why we spend our lives trying to please others.
Please yourself. It’s OK to be selectively social. There’s nothing wrong with being a loner. Loner doesn’t equal “loser” or “depressed”.
Conserve your energy. Take walks on the beach and read that book you’ve been dying to read. Turn off your phone and forget about the external world and enjoy the internal bliss.
And most importantly, forgive yourself. You’re never regressing – just growing, always.